I wrote this post 5 years ago and it just sat here as my blog wasn't live, but I wrote it to process my feelings around hitting such a huge milestone, it's obviously now out of date but I decided to just post it as is! The blog is back. It might be a one off, I might stay consistent, who knows. As I often say 'life has a plan but we'll never know what it is'. I'm not quite 5 years post transplant, my anniversary is 27th Feb 2023 but the countdown to this anniversary has been going on for months now. Every year feels like a big deal but this anniversary feels like a huge deal and I'm not fully sure why. A lot has happened since I was 21 and put on that transplant waiting list, in fact, looking back is like watching a film about a girl I kind of know but not very well. I have a scar down the centre of my chest to remind me of what I've been through, but even that has faded to a point where I don't even notice it. So my emotions have been quite mixed r...
My Near Death Experience - Post Op Delirium and PTSD Hello everyone, not written on here in a while! I was watching 'The Fall' recently and there's a part in it where he has a 'near death experience' and he's in a tunnel with his late mother shouting him and then his living daughter at the other end shouting him. I've shared before that I suffered with post surgical delirium and hallucinations but I've never really gone into much detail. This is because it was upsetting at the time for those around me to see me so distressed but also because I don't often look to the past. But that part of the programme really reminded me of my experience and I wanted to share in the hope that it may help. So some part of ICU I remember, although it was very tunnel vision as I couldn't move. So I remember my parents and Ciaran seeing me the first time I was woken up after 6 days and they told me what day it was etc. But after that the line between reality and fic...