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5 years of being a heart transplant recipient

I wrote this post 5 years ago and it just sat here as my blog wasn't live, but I wrote it to process my feelings around hitting such a huge milestone, it's obviously now out of date but I decided to just post it as is! The blog is back. It might be a one off, I might stay consistent, who knows. As I often say 'life has a plan but we'll never know what it is'. I'm not quite 5 years post transplant, my anniversary is 27th Feb 2023 but the countdown to this anniversary has been going on for months now. Every year feels like a big deal but this anniversary feels like a huge deal and I'm not fully sure why. A lot has happened since I was 21 and put on that transplant waiting list, in fact, looking back is like watching a film about a girl I kind of know but not very well. I have a scar down the centre of my chest to remind me of what I've been through, but even that has faded to a point where I don't even notice it.  So my emotions have been quite mixed r...
Recent posts

My Near Death Experience

My Near Death Experience - Post Op Delirium and PTSD Hello everyone, not written on here in a while! I was watching 'The Fall' recently and there's a part in it where he has a 'near death experience' and he's in a tunnel with his late mother shouting him and then his living daughter at the other end shouting him. I've shared before that I suffered with post surgical delirium and hallucinations but I've never really gone into much detail. This is because it was upsetting at the time for those around me to see me so distressed but also because I don't often look to the past. But that part of the programme really reminded me of my experience and I wanted to share in the hope that it may help. So some part of ICU I remember, although it was very tunnel vision as I couldn't move. So I remember my parents and Ciaran seeing me the first time I was woken up after 6 days and they told me what day it was etc. But after that the line between reality and fic...

Coronavirus and transplant patients

Hi everyone, Me again! I found this blog post that I wrote a while ago now and obviously forgot about it and never shared it! It's very relevant to the current Covid-19 pandemic. It explains why transplantees and immunosuppressed people are more at risk of infections and why it would be so serious if a transplant recipient were to catch coronavirus. It's obviously a worrying time for everyone at the minute, but every day transplantees are at risk of picking up infections and we don't spend our life in fear. So please read my tips, stay safe and check in on the people you love and make sure they're okay! I've been thinking about what you might want to read about life as a transplantee and I recently became a member of a new transplant Facebook page. This page is from people all over the world, not just UK and it's been really interesting listening to what people are worried about, what their doctors have told them etc. I wrote a previous post about transpl...

Working Life Post Transplant

Hi everyone!  It's a long time since I've updated my blog, and I don't know why but I felt inspired to write today! I can't update you on my entire life in one blog post so I'm going to post a few blog entries about 'Getting Back to Normal'. I am back at work, so I thought I'd share what it's like getting back into the work force, for anyone who's nearly at that point, or is just starting their transplant journey and they aren't keen on medical retirement, especially if you're young like me! Some people do choose to take medical retirement after transplant and say it's because of the risk of being around people. I think it depends on your age, when you're older your immune system is naturally weaker anyway, and older people are more prone to infections post transplant than young transplantees. I can imagine as well for people who have worked their whole lives and have then had such a traumatic event, it must be nice to be...

My Donor

29.10.18 I get butterflies just writing this title for my blog this week! Following on from my last post about mental health and transplant, one of the main things I have struggled with is that a complete stranger gave me the most amazing gift I will ever receive and I will never be able to thank them or meet them. The most frequent question I have had since my transplant is "do you know anything about your donor". The minute I woke up from my operation I thought of my donor and their family. It didn't even cross my mind when I got my call because it just hadn't dawned on me that I was even in the hospital about to have my transplant! But I remember being on the ward and just sobbing to Ciaran. It wasn't guilt that I felt, it was just sheer sadness. I felt as if someone I knew had passed away. It's very hard to know that someone that was such a wonderful person (because they decided they wanted their organs to be donated after death) has passed away. I...

Transplant and Mental Health

 11.10.18 Hello everyone! I can only apologise for not being as active on my blog as I was but my life is busy with non-transplant things now! And I like to keep my blog just for transplant updates really rather than my life story! **I do not recommend this post if you have not yet had your transplant as it may frighten you to read about or make you think of things that may upset you that you haven't yet even thought of!** It was mental health awareness day yesterday and I thought it would be fitting to write about the emotional side of transplant, and some of the things myself and others have struggled with. I think it will be best to start with a list to summarise some of the issues people can struggle with (not everyone struggles with these things and some obviously struggle more than others): Guilt, from someone dying and you essentially celebrate that death because your wait and your illness is over Sadness that someone has passed away Trauma/PTSD from the surge...

6 Month Post Op - Including scar update!

21/08/2018 Hello all, I'm so glad that so many people contacted me and said they really enjoyed my last post about my anti-rejection drugs, I'm always unsure if people like reading my more medical blogs as it can be complicated! But it is important to me that my readers know all the details of transplant life, a lot of people I know find that the general consensus is that once you've had your op you're cured when in fact I will always be disadvantaged compared to the normal person (but I do think if you see yourself as an ill person then you'll always be ill, so I just get on with life as normally as I can). I can't believe I'm almost at my 6 month anniversary already! Which means I've been home for around 5 months, it's absolutely crazy how fast it's gone and yet not a single day goes by that I don't think about the fact I've had a heart transplant. What have I been doing? Not a lot. I'm really struggling with boredom if I...